So the NSA has been spying on American citizens (officially) since 2002. Shit, my dad has been telling me that for the past 20 years.

Pshah.

I'm getting antsy about staying here. I wanna come home. I don't think that I'd be able to do that unless I already knew that I was getting there in a few days, but now- yeah. Definitely want to be there. Apparently my mom and Vinni went go get a Christmas tree yesterday.. or the day before or whatever. I'll tell ya the reason I can't remember...

I have this one pill called Divalproex which is now in a huge pill. I just take one a day. But before that, I had to take a bunch of little pills of it until I got the big one delivered to the pharmacy. I was looking through a pill box and a saw the little pills and took about 5. I was pretty sure it'd be WAYYYY too little, bit I'd hoped that it'd be enough to at least get me going for the day.

Turns out I had taken out Klonopin, which is a stress reliever/relaxer. I take one every once in a while. And by once in a while, I mean once in three months or so. And I here I am, and I just took five. All of Saturday was spent in bed sleeping. When I ask people if I asked them this-n-that yesterday, they say, 'No, that was two days ago'. All I remember is that I force fed dinner by Aparna and then passing out again. Oh yeah, and falling alot, because my legs were weird. Really really weird. Note to self- don't go for the green pils. Green pills=bad.

Out.

So I went running today.

It's part of this thing where i'm supposed to lose 2 inches in like, 12 days or something, which is ridiculous. Vaishu basically said, "will you pleeeease lose some weight? at least from your stomach?"

Damn, I didn't think I was that bad until she said that. I mean, I've gone upto a size 36 waist pair of pants before, with my lowest being 32 when I was anorexic. But I'm at a 34 right now and thought it was okay. Maybe it's a beer belly thing. Except I don't drink beer. Jack-and-coke is my thing anyway. And no Jack here.

Back to running- I expected myself to run for 5 minutes and pass out bc it's been so long. I actually ended up running for 10 and walking for another 5. Not too bad. Now the question is whether I'll lose those crucial two inches...hmmm..

*quick note- if anyone wants me to bring anything from india, email me

So yesterday I get a link from Arshy of a rather controversial picture that someone put up on a website. It's a girl who's wearing a hijab (a scarf), but the rest of her body is rather scantily covered. It looked like very suggestive lingerie or something.

Anyway, this was OUTRAGE! The whole point of the scarf is to signify modesty, respect to Allah, and so on. How dare this be exploited in such a manner?! Posters of the forum had opinions that ranged from 'nice.. i wanna meet her', to, 'the whole point of the hijab is to cover!'... and so on.

I happen to think that we're talking about the same issue that has been discussed for eons. Freedom of speech. You see, freedom of speech is a term that is so odd that it can be used to mean a broad number of things. I highly doubt that The Founding Fathers (of America) thought to themselves that freedom of speech should allow people to watch all different types of porn. But, here it is, and it's protected by the freedom of speech.

Then there's the religious aspect, and someone in the post had brought up that it's not the same as people who are definitely 'sinners' wearing crucifixes. But why not? We're not ultimately talking about 'coverage' as being the true issue here. We're talking about disrespecting the true essence of a religion and its core beliefs. One of the core beliefs of Islam is that women should be covered past a certain age. (Conservatives, that is.) And if that's a problem, it's the belief system that is being insulted. It should be just as heinous for Madonna having sex with a black Jesus in her music video Like A Prayer.

Ultimately, I think that this is it: There are always going to be those who do or say things that you don't like. If you don't like Eminem, don't listen to him. Don't like Jerry Falwell? Ignore him. Not too fond of JashdakjsdhAsd Adadadada? Turn a deaf ear. Regardless of whether one finds it offensive or not, it's another's perogative to do so.

out.

I'm heading back, ladies and germs. That's right, I'm going to be back in the US on December 30th. It feels like a relief and a sense of nervosa at the same time. It's not to say that I'm not excited to see everyone- no problem with that at all. It's just that when I've gone the last few times, near the end of one week, I was ready to bounce. Why? Because I started getting bored. It's like when you go through winter or summer break. At first it's awesome because there're no projects or papers or any annoying students around that you wanted to kill during the semester. It's just you and your old buddies and family. You sit back and watch TV, and whatever else entails that whole relaxation period.

And then.... you get antsy. We're all so brainwashed into the idea of needing to do something to qualify our worth that it just becomes difficult to think of doing...nothing... for three weeks at least. (There's even the possibility I'll be there for two whole months.) Here I've got a job, things to do, blah blah blah. I know that after a day that completely exhausts me at work, I did something. So yeah, that's what I'm afraid of. But I'm definitely looking forward to my family, Casper, and my internet connection. In that order...I think.

Peas.

"I don't think it's going to happen today, Vinoj. I'm trying really hard, but I don't think I can fit you in. I mean if I had to fit you in, it would just be impossible. It's just too hard."
-Gigichacha, informing me that he won't be able to get me a dentist appointment

NOW it's getting a bit obsessive. I don't even have a clue whether anyone's reading this or not, and yet I just keep on writing. Perhaps it's a cathartic experience or something

The original date for my coming back to the US was Dec. 27th. Hit a huge snag. Apparently that flight goes through London, which means that you have to get an effin visa to even TRANSIT through. At least permanent residen/green card holders do. If you're an American citizen, no probs. Come to think of it, if you're an American citizen, you can go to almost any country without a visa. Pretty sharp.

But I digress-- I had to go through hell to switch from American Airlines to United Airlines to fly from Chicago to OKC, and now i have to go through even more hell to figure out how to get an Air India ticket from here to Chicago that doesn't stop in London. (I have to stop in Frankfurt...creepy airport) Then someone offers me the bright idea of ending up in Newark instead. Errr.... brain dead perhaps? Now I'm on a freakin WAIT LIST just for Air India, and THEN I have to make sure that I get it cleared with United Airlines.

Who knows, I may just get to America in 2082.

Out. For now.

You know, as I go through the day(s), I think, 'Hey I might want to blog that.' Of course, by the time I get down to actually blogging, I forget all of what I want to say. However, I read a couple of articles today that provide me with some artillery. So let's go.

1) Saddam is creating absolute 'pandemonium' (sp?) at his court proceedings, he's yelling at people left and right, etc. Today he actually told the judge to, "go to hell." I would love to put my opinion on this latest bit of news, but I'm concerned that whatever I say (pro or con) would result in the CIA knocking at my door. So onto the next article!

2) Check this out: Dude who owns a restaurant tells parents to give a **ck about their children. Let me explain- we've all been to a restaurant where there are those parents with those kids. You know, the kids that run around creating havoc and noise and disturb other people. Now mind you, I don't have much of a problem with some kid just walking about exploring as long as he doesn't disturb my meal. To be honest, I think they're cute and like them. But those wretched little beasts that cry if they don't get what they want and so forth need to be shot. What's WORSE is if the parents either a)ignore it or b)THINK IT'S CUTE.

I'm not one on saying that you should ban kids from an establishment, but if the little beast is making so much noise that IT disturbs people, you have to go. All of you. Sorry. Actually, I'm not. I'm paying the same price for the same meal that those people are, and I'd like to have a nice quiet meal where all I have to listen to is my friend. (While we're at it, maybe we should start kicking out those a$$h0le$ who make jokes so loud that all of the rest of us are supposed to laugh.)

I have a story related to the same situation that happened at Pizza Hut earlier in the week, but I don't want to fill up my entire site with me being too irate.

Out.

Well it's getting might cold over here guys. Since we're in the northern hemisphere too (gasp! geography lesson!), the winters are at the same time as in the US.

I just read that the low in Norman right now is 25 degrees. Psh. As if that's supposed to scare me. Over here in Bangalore it's REALLY cold. Temperatures at night go all the way down to 69 degrees.

Go ahead. Tell me to kiss it.

Out. Won't be able to email/blog until Thursday night over here. Peace.

*Donna, ****** will be coming to the US too. And if all goes well, she's planning to come down to Norman*

You know, I was just reading over the last post and I realized something-- it doesn't necessarily have to be focused solely onto Bangalore or India. I think the same would be true in any urban environment. I mean, what did it really boil down to? Noise pollution and inconsiderate behavior. That's pretty much every city that I know. (Any REAL city at least.) It's required at these places to go, "________ has the shittiest drivers in the world, I swear."

As for the internet connections, I stand by my convictions that it's crap here. :)

I think that even around here, if I could live in a nice cozy villa with the regular amenities (you know, simple things like a THX Home Theater System, two jacuzzis, a DVD collection with over 100 DVDs and music cds climbing through a pull out drawer, and those kickass tiles that Michael Jackson walks on in the Billie Jean video that light up when you step on them.) But if \I had those things and a nice lawn and a garden and a dog, I'd be really happy. Oh and of course a blazing internet connection, satellite preferably.

I'm so grounded and reasonable.

Maybe it'll happen. Probably not, and I'll end up in the US again. The date might be changing now to late December/early January instead of the 3rd week of January. Need to start working out for the ladieeeeeessss....

out.

"Someday over the rainbow..."

That's the ditty I'm singing now until I get to a real-live internet connection and not one of these blasted internet parlors. People, say it with me: ICK. The keyboards were made during the early 90s, have keys that stick together every other second, and there are strange odors in this place I've never encountered before. But I think the real issue is that I'm getting a bit saturated of India.

That's right, I said it. I wanna be back in the US of A. Why? Noise pollution.

Too many effing festivals around this town. Anytime any kind of celebration comes around hundreds of blathering idiots light firecrackers in the street. Note, these aren't just kids.. no no no-- these are also those in their late 40s. Numbnuts. That, coupled with the vegetable men every morning and the fruit vendors ("APPLES!! AHHRANGE!! ADIJHAIDAJA!!), get tiresome. Oh at first it's cute-- aw, look at the culture and the neat facets that we don't have in the US... Then of course there are the cars/autos/buses, the latter two LOVING to have the most annoying and shrill horns on the planet. Buses? Amazingly on time and very efficient. The downside? I think their goal is to kill at LEAST one person a day. Pedestrians come second, and I swear they try to hit you every time. Harumph.

Maybe I'm just grumpy today bc I'm back (yet again) at an internet parlor. But I have wanted to say the previous for a while now. I wanna go back to Oklahoma for a little while... have my 1MBps net connection. With downloads that don't charge for every effing megabyte....yes.... that would be delightful... coming back on January 21st though. Just a few more weeks, Vinoj. A few more weeks...

Wow. Awesomely retarded logic doesn't get any better than this.

So Vaishu (Aparna's little cousin) got suspended from college for two days.

For running in the halls.

Not. Kidding. This is the kinda shit that may happen in junior high... high school.. maybe.. but COLLEGE??? Weird-ass system over here. Of course the reason WHY she was running would be the best reason of all- she was playing hide and seek.

Vaishu is now my own personal hero.

Quote of the Day
"gosh boyfreinds suck but if ur engaged to them, its cooler cuz u can punch them and the ring would make it hurt some more :D"
-Arshy, always the source of divine knowledge

Alright alright! Back with another blog. Whew. Aparna's doing a WHOLE lot better. The stitches came out, and they weren't pretty. It looked like a fresh slash had been made. Ouch. BUT, it's starting to look more normal now, and her swelling has definitely decreased (if not completely gone away). She's getting sensation back in her face which is great. On the flip side, what she IS feeling at that point is pain. Grr.

Work's crazy right now- I've gotta teach these students all of American culture in 5 days this week. I usually get 12. It's nuts, and I have to compress every single thing that I can at super-speed. But I'm not the type to just finish fast (at least that's what the ladies say...). I gotta go for quality, man! So we'll see.

Too much writing. Too little time. Must jet.

A lot of pain. She's in a whole lot of pain.

Aparna just went through her surgery yesterday, and she came out with flying colors. Sorta. It was a success, yadda yadda, and the cyst they were removing from the parotid gland (side of the cheek bone) is gone. Now she's supposed to have a small tube that drains any excess blood from the area, and of course, pain.

Maybe it's the medical system here or whatever, but I could swear they're doing it wrong. Or something. At least the nurses. These people have no idea how to insert needles/IVs, etc. It's ri-fuckin-diculous. When a nurse inserted an IV into her hand the first day, Apsi was crying bc it felt like it was touching the bone, not to mention a shitload of nerves. And yet, no response from the nurse. Take it from me, an expert in the field of getting stuck with needles- if a patient screams out, you STOP. Not here; keep on going. Today another nurse decided to inject some antibiotic into her arm. She's zipping along at a good 3-4 cc's per second. Ridiculous. You're supposed to do .25 a second (max) so that it doesn't feel like the patient's veins are going to burst. I had to actually yell at the nurse to STOP. Idiots. Then she slowed down, etc. But still, for a person like Aps who's never been in a hospital, this is very hard. I can understand that. Me? I might be able to deal with this a little better. But her? Not so much. It's very real and very painful for her. And hell, with these damn nurses not even I might be able to handle it.

Good news is- everything went as expected, and she's expected to make a full recovery. There's a pretty nasty scar right now, but as the sutures are taken out and such, it'll heal. Poor thing- I wish there was something I could do to make her feel better, but all I can do is stay by her side, talk to her, and hold her hand.

Just as she's done for me oh-so-many times...

Quote of the Day
"That's it! I'm never watching porn with any of you ever again!"
-Kritts, and no, I wasn't one of those who watched it with her

So I write this wonderful email to my family about how I think my seizures are fading away, because I had been without medication for about two days, and I'd had no seizures. I felt it weakly yesterday afternoon, so I took a dosage to be on the safe side.

Talk about speaking too soon.

Almost right after I sent the email it starts getting worse. It abates for a little while, and Aparna and Vinod are here. I go into my room to get my computer, and next thing I know, I'm flat on the bed, groggy, dizzy, and almost feeling amazingly drunk. I heard voices-- I recognized them as Aparna and Vinod, but couldn't make out what they were saying. The next hour or so was pure hell. My entire body was too exhausted for any movement at all, and they kept asking me questions that I couldn't answer. (Are you okay? Do you want water? Do you want us to take you to the hospital?) On top of that there was a wave of nausea and a splitting headache and it felt like it was all old-people-y where they can't utter out those last few words. Or like when someone dies in a movie. ("The key to the treasure is found in... *OLD DUDE CROAKS*)

Anyway, I was told later that after going in my room, I seized for 2 minutes straight. In 10 years, that's probably the longest I've ever seized. The average is 30 seconds to 1 minute. But 2? Never before. Which is why last night was one of the shittiest nights I've ever had. Apparently my body decided, "Oh...so you think you can pull this whole thing off with no medicine and pulling the plug that easily? I'm gonna show you what happens when you go without meds for 40 hours..." And BOOM. On the floor.

Good news out of all of this. I'm alright. Didn't hurt myself, and I had two wonderful people who were here to take care of me. Aparna was on a medication last night that made her drowsy, so just so that she wouldn't fall asleep, she sat in the corner to make sure I didn't seize.... the entire night. I happened to wake up at 3 and told her to go to bed. Wow. Loving people. All around. All one can hope for.

Alright, so one of my batches for the training programs have ended (I teach American culture) and another one is ending tomorrow. The shitty thing? A couple of them may have cheated, and definitely a number of them thought that because I'm very close to being nutty and insane, they can slide through.

Not so.

Listen, I'm as easy going as the next guy (or actually, much more), but when I get to grades and work in my class, I'm dead serious. There were about 10 people today who need to redo their presentations tomorrow, and it seems interesting that some of the same people got extremely high grades on their tests. So what does it sound like to me? That there was some cheating going on. There was one guy who insisted that he didn't cheat, and I COMPLETELY believe him. It totally blows that he's in the same boat as those who did cheat just bc his presentation wasn't done right. Ah well.

I suppose they're the travails of being a teacher. Now that I've finished my lemon iced tea at Coffee Day and a cornbread bbq chicken sandwich, it looks like I can relax. Done with work, gonna go home, and write a retest for the "kids". In case anyone at all is reading this and hasn't seen it yet, WATCH AMERICAN HISTORY X. Mind-blowing. Out.

So it's my birthday. Awesome. I'm halfway to being half a CENTURY old. Not too bad. I guess when you get older you're supposed to become depressed or something, but I think there's something wrong- I'm pretty cool with it. Hmm...

I know what you're thinking-- big birthday bash, people left and right getting trashed, and a whole lot of presents and cards.

Wrong. Three cards, no party, one gift, and no alcohol.

And you know what? I'm completely happy. (Although I wouldn't really be in the mood to have people trashed at my birthday party anyway.) I had a good day at work, I'm back in one piece after hours teaching class, and I had a nice chaat at a local restaurant. A bhel puri-- puffed rice tossed in a sweet and spicy sauce with onions, coriander, and topped off with some crunchy stuff and more cilantro. Delish, I think. There are a bunch of other chaat types, but this one's my favorite. Apparently people go crazy for it, but I don't know what the big allure is. A chaat by the way is basically a dish that you get as a snack. After lunch, before dinner. Relatively light depending on what you get with it. You couldn't go to a restaurant and say, 'I want chaat'. They'd ask, 'What kind'.

But that's neither here nor there. All I know is that I'm very peaceful and happy with tonight. It's been raining non-stop for the past couple of days and there's flooding around Bangalore. Over here as far as I'm concerned it's nice and cool, I have a blanket, and so far the internet connection isn't down. Vinoj is set.

That's it for now, and I'm pretty content. Talk lates..

When Shibu was still alive, he and I talked about women. Or perhaps more specifically, relationships and all its trappings. He was married at the time, and he said that when you're married you stop looking at other women. They are appreciated as God's beauty, but that's it.

Rrrrright, I thought. I mean this guy WAS an evangelical Christian (that's not a radical Christian btw) so of course he'd have something about sanctity of marriage and what-not. I mean c'mon, just bc you're married you stop looking at the fiiiiine honeys out there? Bullshit.

Dammit. It pisses me off to say-Shibu was right. I can't think of anyone but the woman I'm with. Of COURSE there are women out there who are hot and yeah c'mon, I'd like to do them. But I realized something. What next? What, you sleep with them and the next day you feel empty and shallow? Sure guys may wanna talk to other guys going, "Dude! I boned Angelina Jolie!" (Okay THAT is an exception... and ma GURRRRL has agreed that Angelina's on my list of people I can be with.) But there's no one who can be as caring, touching, understanding, and whose voice and smile can brighten up my day as ******.

Yeah this sounds horribly cheesy and cliche. It's the kind of stuff that I used to hear from people who were in love and think, "Shut the hell up I don't wanna hear this. Ass." And so I'll end with the superlatives on her. Yes her name's a secret for now, and we'll keep it that way for a bit.

Maybe others can find some sort of meaning in this. Maybe not. Out.

This is preposterous. Having a website that I'm actually paying for, and not updating since freakin' September 12th. I have a defense though: internet connections in India suck b@ll$. One second it's working fine, then the electricity goes out and the connnection goes out. Then, when the power comes back, the internet server may be down. And this is all with ONE rainfall. Plus considering that the speed over here is ridiculously slow, it makes it more of a pain. I'll see how long I can keep updating this time.

Anyway, it's all good in the hood- I'm teaching some classes on American culture, which is pretty sweet. It's great interacting with a bunch of students,and to teach them about what most people I know consider routine: According to a number of my students, everyone gets a divorce and has too many relationships to count. An actual number stated in my class- 221 relationships per year. Wow. I don't think even Hugh Hefner can get that high even WITH Viagra.

Out for now- will keep ya posted.

Jesus Christ. I have no idea, but I don't think I put in, quite possibly, the most important thing in my life right now.

I'm engaged.

I sent the email out to a number of people, (if you want one, drop me a line at vz_1athohtmail.com.) The reason I spelled out the @ is because once your email address is online on a website, different bots online can collect it and use it to send you junk mail. So use the @ symbol instead, with an o instead of the oh.

ANYWAY, the lucky gal who gets to spend the rest of her life with me is named Aparna, and she's from Chicago but living in Bangalore right now. She came here originally to study medicine, but took a little break in between. Now she's going back. If you want more details, just frikkin' email me. I'm not gonna type it all out right here.

Went to a restaurant on Friday called Sumerkand. (Say it five times fast.. hehe.. get it?) WOW. Apsi and I had this meat sampler platter. Probably for about 4 or 5 people, but we devoured it. You will not BELIEVE how juicy and delectably (sp?) spiced the meats were. Everything from seasoned lamb, juicy roast chicken, fresh grilled fish, and huge skewered shrimp. I'm salivating just thinking about it. Alright I'm out. Unfortunately, that was the most interesting thing that happened this weekend. I'll put up a pic of Apsi when I take a couple of her.

Out.

Not that it hasn't been covered in great detail, but I think it's completely fine to talk about Hurricane Katrina on my site.

First off, emotion. Natural disasters happen all the time. Hurricanes, tsunamis, earthquakes, whatever. And during all that, there's the initial reaction of, 'Wow that's terrible destruction', followed by, 'I hope those people get better.'

And so I question myself, 'Why is this different?'

Usually I answer such questions, but I can't this time. All I know is that the carnage, the sheer power of the devastation is mind-blowing. But even more hurtful is the way people have been treated.

As a news article mentioned, these aren't pictures from Mogadishu or Port-au-Prince. This is America, revered as a high powered 1st world nation. On top of that, the base animalistic nature of Man is in high view. Looting, gunshots, rape, and people covered in feces and urine. And this isn't just a sampling of those in New Orleans that didn't get out. I'm also discussing ENFORCEMENT OFFICERS. They were also privy to the looting and illegal acts. Absolutely pathetic. There was one woman who tried to get her 2 year old child who got lost in a line to get on the bus. SHE WAS FUCKING MACED BY AN OFFICER WHO DIDN'T WANT HER TO GET OFF THE BUS.

One of my cousins asked if New Orleans is mostly just a black area, because of course, those shown in the news are black people who are in trouble. I told him that it's not the case, it has a number of different races. As I read more though, I learned that most of those people that are shown are poor black people who didn't even have the means to get out of town. No car, nothing. It's not just the ignorant people who thought they could just 'brave the storm'. No, these people had no way out. Is this a narrative that says that most black people are poor, or that they were pushed aside by a predominantly white bureaucratic system that was set up much earlier than the civil rights movement? I have no answer.

Perhaps- just perhaps- the reason I feel affected by this as much as I do is bc there's a deep sense of regret, remorse, and/or shame in my America. I just... maybe I didn't want these pictures to get out. And maybe I wish that I could've done

Quote of the Day
"Can I be the booze bearer?"
Nitu, wanting to be part of my wedding in some way

HOLY FRIKKIN CRAP THIS IS FUNNY.

I just saw this little clip of Family Guy where Stewie (the absurdly upper-crust brainiac baby) goes off on 50 Cent's lyrics and the grammatical errors. Check it. Oh yeah, and it's 2 MB so if you're on a slow connection.. it might take upto 10 minutes.

Oh by the way, if SonyEricsson asks you to select a region, select Asia and then India. This phone's not available in the States yet.

Whew. Yet ANOTHER long time since I've posted. What the feezy is going on here?

So check this- I got a phone and it's pretty spiffy. Okay fine I lied- the damn thing is frikkin AWESOME. It's got a BUTTLOAD of features, but the parts I'm stoked about are: 1. Upto 2GB of memory. Holy crap. 2. 2 Megapixel camera. Holy shit. 3. Amazing plane fighter simulation. Hells yeah.

Plus, you should check out a photo I took today with it- it's just of a plate of mangoes. Aight I'm out.

You know, I'm not one to put many religion-oriented links on here, but this site has a really nice Flash presentation that I think is worth seeing. The conversation with God is actually a number of insightful notations, with some beautiful photography. Alright here it is.

On another note, pic of the week is up- I loved it.

Quote of the Day
"Alright. I'm gonna go lift weights and get sweaty in a room full of other dudes...nothing gay about that.."
-Art

I haven't had an entry on here in forever and a day, and it's a travesty, I tell you. A CRIME. Why? Because here I am, promising myself that I won't be a deadbeat dad/site owner, and I've gone and done it. Actually it's also because I'm paying for Vinoj.com so I'm actually wasting money by not updating.

But I digress.

Things at work are getting a bit more intense, and I learned that I may be having upto 15 students that I'll have to work with each week. (GULP.) Here's a little tidbit- it's a lot harder than you might think.

I'll come up with some more funny stuff at some point to put on here, as well as an updated Pic of the Week.

Quote of the Day
"That is a lie from the pits of HELL!"
-Vinni

Conversation tidbit of the day
Amit: "And her dimensions are..."
Vinoj: "Ugly as s**t."

So I'm doing an interview today for Microsoft, and I hear the ring-song (is that what they call those songs you hear as you call someone's phone??) of some dude. I had to laugh at what I heard.

Achy Breaky Heart by Billy Ray Cyrus.

KICK. ASS.

Quote of the Day
"Go to the stairs and come on your knees."
-Virginia, proposing something for which I don't have the flexibility

You're not gonna believe what I did out of the sheer lunacy of it. I installed Microsoft Office Communicator (a corporate version of Windows Messenger) on here, which basically connects me to all other Microsoft employees. Let me clarify - ALL MICROSOFT EMPLOYEES. So who does this include? That's right, Mr. Bill Gates. And yes, I added him to my contact list.

So what happens when you get a notification that a new 'buddy' has added you to their contacts list? Naturally, you deny them if you don't know who the hell that person is. I've subverted that by being extremely intelligent and cunning. I sent him an email (because I'm sure he doesn't receive many) that said the following: Okay fine, I thought, "Hey why not," and added you to my Microsoft Office Communicator account and I'm in India. (Bangalore)But hey- nothing wrong with having another contact that's extremely intriguing on here, right? (And I assure you that I'm very interesting.)

I'm a frikkin moron and I have no clue why I just wrote one of the frikkin richest men-- in the world.

Quote of the Day
"God, I'm sucking harder than usual today"
-Nicole, talking once again about her play-time antics

Oh yeah, the electricity was gone here at frikkin' Microsoft for 3.5 hours. See, they have the computers and phones on a separate power source so that even if the regular current goes out, they have these bad boys on a backup so that people don't lose their data. Today it was the other way around (which sucks for anyone who had important stuff open). The backup supply went down, and the rest of the stuff was fine. We had the lights, cafeteria, all that jazz totally fine. But the phones and computers were down. Total suckage. But hey, now we're back and good to go. I'm out. I'm sure there are MUCH more important issues to detail, but this is all I can think of for now. Goin back to listening to trance music.

Okay fine, so he's not exactly known to be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I have a soft spot for Keanu Reaves. No, it's not just The Matrix... the thing that impressed me most is that this guy can spout off Shakespeare like there's no tomorrow. He's an addictive fan of the Beaird's work, which is very unlike the persona people attach to him. Anyway, the reason I'm bringing this up... he had a great quote that I totally agree with, and I thought I'd put it on here:

"If you can make a woman laugh, you're seeing the most beautiful thing on God's Earth."

Couldn't have said it better myself...

Alright, this is a weird addition, but it's something that I've thought every time I go to the bathroom. (See how odd this already sounds??)

In America, after using the urinals, guys will wash their hands and leave. No wait- let me clarify. Guys will sometimes wash their hands before they leave. That's right ladies- if you see a guy come out of the bathroom and he's hanging out with you afterwards, there's a very good possibility that he hasn't washed his hands. (Disgusting.) To make sure, look at the back of their hands. Why? Because most guys who wash their hands will dry their palms because that's what you use most. The back isn't as important, and in high probability (of course I can't speak for every guy), there will be a bit of water/moisture on it. PLUS, if you only see the palm moist, that's a problem. He's umm... splashed a bit on himself. (I know I know this is nasty... there's an interesting cultural phenomenon coming up, I swear.)

In India however, in the last 5 months I've been here, there's been ZERO cases of that. Every single person washes their hands afterwards. Before eating. After eating. For a country that you see on TV as being dirty, blah blah blah, the people in India are frikkin anal (maybe that sounds a bit weird..) about being clean. You look on the street and (aside from drivers), everyone's got some ironed button down shirt on, etc. Craziness.

Alright I'm done. So yeah, if you notice some dude get out of the bathroom WAYYYY too quickly around there, send him back. Better yet, just walk away. Better even STILL, totally stop talking to him. Muhuhuahahahaha....

Quote of the Day
"It might get shorter, but it won't get softer."
-Andrea

Quote of the Day
"If someone were to tell me I was half-African, hell I'd believe it..
-Arshy, and no I have no clue what she was talking about

Best IM of the day
"I'm afraid I'm terribly lost, but people say it's a good look for me, so I run with it."
-Brittni, trying to figure out what the hell I was talking about

Oh Britney, Britney. When did you become so... stupid? Or is it that you were always stupid and I ignored it because of the rhythmic way in which your hips sway and the.... (drooling). Anyway, here it is, her retarded quote.

Most Retarded Celeb Quote
"Everything is going so well lately -- it literally brings me to my knees."
-Britney Spears, and I don't know how many fellatio jokes I can insert in this space

I was taking the cab to work today, and there was a hold up in traffic. Usually it's someone's car broken down. Not today. As I looked ahead, I noticed that it was a fender bender (at max-- no actual damage to people there), but that there were people outside arguing. I can see this happening in the US, definitely. There's that initial, "AY! What the hell did you just do?! Now gimme your insurance card while I call the police." It's either that or, "Dude are you okay?? Now gimme your insurance card while I call the police."

No such thing here. In general, any time two cars hit each other it's like, "Ah damn. Well I guess we'll have to go get that fixed, huh. Alright peace out." No calling the cops, no insurance card, and maybe an exchange of phone numbers.

But back to today. The arguing was pretty heavy, and one dude was DEFINITELY pissed. His face was ready to throw someone around, and hands were pointing frantically towards the other driver. And then, out of nowhere, he PUNCHED THE CRAP out of the other guy. This was just as the cab happened to be passing by, and he sort of paused to watch. Of course all of us inside were enrapt as well.

And that's when I noticed-- there was a crowd of people on the side watching these people fighting. There was my driver and my co-workers staring. And all of us... we wanted to see blood. We wanted to hear the crunch (or at least see it) with these two people, preferably with someone being damaged. Is this what the Roman coliseums were all about? Why are we so intrigued by the possibility of blood and pain? Is it because it's out of the ordinary? Or is it much more primal and we want to know who the survivor will be in the 'survival of the fittest'?

I felt repulsed that I was watching this with such fascination. I turned back and stared back at the front of the cab, and the driver decided to continue driving. But I couldn't help but wonder, 'Have we become any more civilized at all? Is there really any evolution of thought that has happened in the thousands of years we've been around?'

Who knows.

Quote of the Day
"Let's see who can suck harder... I mean the most..."
-Nicole, comparing her strengths to mine.. I couldn't relate

Another Quote for the Day
"Do you mind if I sidejack you?"
-Jarreau, talking about what Aparna should say to 'Clam Chowder'

HAHAHAHAHA. You know, it's not very often that you read stuff on the internet that truly makes you laugh, or in my case, even chuckle. This definitely did it for me. It's The Absolute Bottom 50 Children's Books.

Enjoy.

Well here it is... the day that Kavi's finally leaving. Was sort of hoping that it would just go away if I didn't deal with it, and I don't know that I'll totally get it until a little while from now. I'll probably be like, "Hey you've been gone for 3 weeks! Isn't it time to come back to Bangalore from Delhi, silly?"

On other news, I've become one of the two people assigned to a newsletter at Microsoft. It showcases things that are going in the US and such, and I find it interesting. But here's the caveat: it's really damn hard to find news that's solely relevant to the US that's not depressing as hell. I mean, I COULD talk about the runaway bride, only to further the sentiment that Americans are odd, I COULD talk about the two best friends that were killed by the father of one of them and then depress the hell out of everyone. So what else do I do? I have to, very carefully, write fluff pieces that have some relevance. When I do the Entertainment section that becomes easier, but when I have to do a "Serious News Article"??

I FINALLY GOT MY V DASH! What does that mean? That means that I finally have a Microsoft email address. Email me and I'll tell you what it is. It's retarded to put it on here bc you'll get a lot of junk mail when the search bots find you. (Doesn't that sound all Matrix-y?)

Peas!!

Instant Message of the Day
"HeRsHeE317: jeebus i wanna die"
-Arshy, on a good day

Quote of the Day
"This guy is so hot... the entire smoking section at IHOP was checking him out when he was taking his sobriety test.."
-Deja, obviously showing her upper-crust taste in men

Yes I know, it's been a while since I've written (again). I'd like to blame it on an amazingly high workload and my being out saving puppies. Instead, the truth is that I've just been lazy. Pathetic, I know.

Whew, where to start..? Well Kavi's back in town, after (what feels like) an eternity in Delhi. She'll be here for another 10 days or so, and then... well she'll move to Delhi permanently. So I suppose I have to make the most of it while she's here. Do something really sentimental like spitting over a bridge. I know it's just like everyone else, but what can I say, I'm never very original. I'm definitely gonna miss her though, and it sucks that she's leaving. Great. You meet a really cool girl around here, and then she has to frikkin leave. Just peachy.

Alright I'm out for now. Will probably get back on later tonight or tomorrow.

Awesome Wit of the Day
"don't you know all the stereotypes about people getting married and
their love life getting wetter and wilder by the minute?

yeah... me neither...."
-Val

Quote of the Day
"I once had an after-party that lasted SEVEN YEARS...
-Amit, reminiscing about the US

That's my BOYYY!

Jason gets a second chance

Instant Message of the Day
Joshua says:
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... u..... DEVIL's baby.

I put up a new picture of the week (one that I find pretty funny at least) because of all the losers that were whining. I've got next week's ready too, so I think I'll be able to change it more often..

It rained today, which is actually a rare occurence here in Bangalore. In fact, this is probably the third time (maybe fourth) in 3 months that it's rained. Yeah, it's that dry. Actually it reminds me of L.A. in that it's always 75 degrees and sunny. Irregardless.

I'm in the auto and it's definitely pouring hard. Rain is spattering onto the bench completely, and I try to move to center as much as I can. "Safe," I think, "No problems here." A truck blares its horn for about 12 seconds straight, and I turn around to look outside the auto to see how big the bastard is. And right then, I regret my decision. There's a sizeable LAKE of water on the road, and there's only a split second that I see mud and water fling at my face. Needless to say, I'm drenched. And I sat there, for another 20 minutes, totally soaked, slightly muddy, and ready to take a shower. Boy I love this place.

Quote of the Day
"How much for mouses around here?"
-Amit, obviously expressing his talent as a Language Trainer

I know, I know, you all are missing me. I'm getting insane emails from people asking- nay, PLEADING- that I write another post. Fine, to sate the masses, I shall write a post.

This may disappoint, but I'm gonna go off and blab on about the House of Representatives and GOP right now. Republicans managed to pass a bill in the House that- get this- reduces the amount of lawsuits can be filed against companies that pollute drinking water. Not kidding. There's a chemical called MTBE that is an additive to gasoline, which has been leaked to drinking water. Alright, so connect some of the dots, if you can. Take a WILD guess where the authors of this bill are from. Gasoline.... any ideas yet? Yep, TEXAS, Dubya's home-state. Should this be surprising that his cronies are once again helping Dubya's oil-field buddies?

But honestly, that's not even the worst part of it! The energy bill also allows drilling in a previously untouched Alaskan wildlife refuge. This area had been set aside by FDR (one of the greatest Presidents in US history, I believe), and that has been respected for decades... until now.

Keep going, conservatives. Let's see how much you can ruin America (which yeah, I call home) by the time your wallets get full. Pathetic.

Another Quote of the Day
"I'm knitting her a f**kin' baby blanket, the least she could do is call me."
-Brooke, uttering quite possibly one of the funniest phrases I've heard in a while

Quote of the Day
"I've gotten more ass from a toilet seat when I'm in Singapore."
-Amit, doing an impression of a co-worker

Quote of the Day
"Oh you know, we're just going to sit around and smoke pot..."
-Vinni

Quote of the Day
"She's a nasty fake-baked orange ho' and I'm pissed."
-L. Woods, obviously referring to one of her good friends

Alright people, I'm back in the US. What does this mean? Eating good home cooked food and not being around screaming vehicles. No, not loud vehicles, vehicles in India that scream all the time. Anyway, the point is, I'm digging being back. One of the first things I'll be doing is going to Wal-Mart and getting 1)Anchorman 2)Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle and 3)Something else that I can't recall right now. The movie selection there is RIDICULOUS and paltry because they only have those flix that made a gajillion dollars at the box office, and even those are usually some guy in a theater using his video camera.

But first, a story about the plane ride. So there I am, talking to this German girl Eliza (pretty cute, I might add), and she's on the way to Chicago. We're talking about getting used to different cultures, and she informs me of some of the phrases that don't quite translate well to America. One is "Do you have a rubber?", which is actually, "Do you have an eraser?" However the next one is priceless, and she gets to be the Quote of the Day.

Quote of the Day
"Will you knock me up in the morning?"
-Eliza, meaning to say 'Will you wake me up in the morning'

Quote of the Day
"Hey Aparna, do you remember the fruits that you gave us yesterday? Yeah well I really appreciated it this afternoon"
-Amit, giving us way more than we needed to know about his bowel movements

Alright, so maybe I'm a sucker for fashion or movie premieres, or whatever. But you know what I can't stand? People who dress like total crap. Listen, if you're a big star and you're headed to your movie premiere, two things can happen.

1. Dress all cool and relaxed. A pair of jeans, a crisp looking jacket, a nice ironed shirt, etc. Fine. (For men of course.) For a woman, some kind of muted top with once again, a fitting but fashionable pair of jeans.
2. Dress up a bit. Movie premieres aren't the Oscars of course, so don't go all out with some designer digs. Don't go for weird couture crap that you saw on a runway with some ridiculously skinny 6" tall model. It's not gonna look good on you. Other than that, fair game. Will Smith always looks good, and so does Mandy Moore. Imitate them.

So you're wondering, what are some examples of bad attire? Darryl Hannah looks like crap here, and as for guys, check out a stellar example with Michael Madsen on the far right. Is this what you do as a star?

Trust me, when I get big, I won't be doing this-- regardless of what my publicist says.

BAD ASS.

Alright so I'm in this stuffy office where I'm trying to pay the cable internet bill. Apparently the idea of "mailing the bill" or "online checking" is a foreign idea to them, so you have to walk all the way over there, drop the thing, and wait for the guy to activate your account. It's hot and muggy, and there're a coupla guys watching some channel with Indian music videos.

A video comes up with the usual: stupid ass song, people running in open fields, changing costumes immediately, and different settings. Same crap. And then I look closer and see something-- during one of the costume changes, the guy has donned an OU SOONERS jersey! I couldn't believe it and kept rubbing my eyes. Yep, there it was, number 20. IN-SANE.

If anyone out there who reads this can let me know who number 20 is, I'd appreciate it. Leave a comment. I'm tempted to say it's Quentin Griffin.

GO SOONERS!

*New Info!*

Alright, so I found a link to the hotel I went to- The Leela. It's frikkin insane. The Leela Kempinski Bangalore We went to the Citrus restaurant, if you end up continuing to search the site.

I have, now, officially hit the rock-bottom of my music choices. I'm sitting here, listening to Launch. Now that's not bad in and of itself, but what IS bad is that - get this- I'm listening to Big Hits of the 80s. Dear God. How much further can I sink? Perhaps starting to listen to early retarded sounding 90s rap? Yes yes, I know it's supposed to be the roots of rap and such, but I just can't seem to enjoy people in leotards dancing around with yellow, green, and black glaring into my eyes.

Quote of the Day
"You're not all THAT fat...."
-Virginia, apparently trying to help my self-esteem. Needless to say, it didn't quite work out.

"Oh my god, I think I just had an orgasm." This quote from Preetha today was probably a good indication of the gastronomical delights I savored this morning for breakfast. I went to The Leela.

The Leela is a hotel chain in India, and they're known for being extravagant. The one in Bangalore is built on the ruins of an old palace, and is about as big as a museum, and I didn't even get to see the whole thing! I can't think of a chain similar to that in the US, because this doesn't cater to lower prices at all. This is made for the ultra-rich, and they have no qualms with it. (One night is $270 - Rs. 8,000 - and that's for the lowest room.)

But onto this morning. They have a breakfast buffet, and trust me, it's not your regular buffet. The room is split into three sections, one dedicated to pastries and baked goods, the second to freshly-cooked kitchen items and fruits and 'accessories' as I call them, and then another for Indian fare.

I went to the kitchen area and ordered waffles and Eggs Benedict. Then I perused around for accessories and got: fresh fruits, cheeses from all over the world, crisp crusty crackers, smoked salmon(I never thought I'd EVER see that here!), pate, sausages, and a flaky golden-brown chocolate-filled danish.

Continuing on about how good it was is non-sensical. I'll just say it was among the best food I've ever had. No wait. I think it WAS the best I've ever had. (Other than good ol' Golden Corral of course...jk.) For Rs. 400 ($10), it's actually a pretty thrifty deal. I'll definitely be visiting again.. like.. next week. No. I'm not kidding, I'm THAT addicted. And with that, I'm out.

Another Quote of the Day
"Ooh I forgot, I was supposed to screw someone over today."
-Aparna, realizing something really important

Quote of the Day
"So why do they say 'Once you go black, you don't go back'?"
-Preetha, wondering the mysteries of the universe

Best Instant Message of the Day
Deja: I swear to god I
Deja: I'm a lesbian
Deja: Angelina Jolie here I come
-Deja, commenting on her difficulties with men right now

Random Bullshit of the Day....

So Donald Rumsfeld is worried about Venezuela getting 100,000 AK 47s that they are buying from Russia. He claims that this would, "threaten the hemisphere," and is giving Venezuela strict 'cajoling' to not engage in that behavior. Venezuela has shot back, saying that it will cut the export of its oil to the US. Considering it's the 5th largest oil importer to the US, it'll make a difference. Maybe not a detrimental effect, but definitely a dent.

Does anyone else find this ironic? The same regime that has encouraged war- full out BLOOD- for the sake of potential strikes on the US. Apparently it's not an issue for the US to completely arm itself in the 'war against terror' by developing the most powerful weapons ON THE PLANET, but a country that buys a couple of guns is now 'threatening the hemisphere'. I think it's the ultimate in arrogance. "We can do it, but you're not smart enough to handle the pressure. We're the good guys!"

I still can't believe W (and more importantly his REGIME) won. I feel ashamed to be an American. Yes, I'm an Indian first, but you know what I mean- living in the US for 17 years sorta rubs off...

Best Instant Message of the Day
"gutting dead folks works up a hunger in ya"
-David, on working with cadavers

Quote of the Day
"I work so hard, and I don't even get a frappuccino"
-Arshia

Yeah yeah yeah, I know, I shouldn't be excited at all about this, but I finally got validation today that I'm attractive. Or rather, 'cute'. I can dig that. I'm on thefacebook.com, and I messaged a girl that I thought was pretty. I didn't expect a response back, because I expected her to be all, "Yawwnnn... just ANOTHER guy falling all over me." Instead, she wrote back and seemed to be pretty sweet and even said that my pic on facebook was 'cute'. Niiiiice.

Why is this important? Well since I've lost weight and stuff (my jeans are falling off even WITH my belt on really tight), I'm starting to feel pretty confident. But then... no chicks around here. I might go to a club one of these days and see if the scene is a little better.

On another (and perhaps more important) note, I'M COMING BACK TO THE US! No, not permanently, but at least for a few days. Basically, there are some issues with US citizenship that I need to take care of, some visa crap, blah blah blah. I'm leaving here on April 11th, so I don't know when I'll be getting there. Whatever.

Aight, PEACE

I'm not in a relationship, and I don't see myself getting anywhere near one anytime soon. Not necessarily because I don't want to or that I can't get one, but because I'm.. what's the word... a bit picky? And yet, I'm sitting here wondering, "Why am I checking on MSN.com to read about "The Secret Lives of Happy Couples"? Do I need this as reassurance that I would be able to do it right in the future? That my past relationships had at least some good in them because I followed most of the rules?

Hmm. Not sure yet. But then again, I read articles about sports, world politics, massive epidemic diseases and so on, without considering myself a hardcore fan of any of them. But relationships.. aren't they different?

On another note, here's a website that I thought was pretty poignant. It's about the anti-India movement and the backlash regarding outsourcing jobs. (A topic that affects my job directly right now) Check it out: Blame India

The next time I hear another conservative start wailing off on "pre-marital relations and its detriment to health," I'm gonna give him/her a mouthful of this:

Your prude has problems, too

Best interview. EVER.

Amit and I were listening to an interview that he was doing tonight. (Phone call interview, in case I've never explained.) After Amit asked his first question, there was a slight pause before the candidate answered the question. Instead, guess what we heard?

A flush.

That's right, homeboy was in the bathroom relieving himself when he got the call. Awesome.

Best Recent Quote from a Movie
"Once you go black, you need a wheelchair."
-White Chicks, a black dude hitting on a 'white chick'

This is perhaps the first Saturday in about two weeks that I've seen Vinod. As married as we are, we never get to spend time with each other. I feel as if we're drifting apart. Like our love is... wait a minute. This just doesn't sound right.

Anyway, he sees me this morning on the computer and goes, "Wow, you really have lost weight." So there I am, feeling pretty good, and I get dressed so that we can get lunch. I put on my ever-so-slightly form fitting shirt and jeans, and I'm gelling my hair tryin to look good. And then he says the one thing that is now today's Quote. Thanks to Vinod for bringing me down to earth. Or rather, dragging me back down to the self-consciousness that I had.

Quote of the Day
"Your ass is still huge."
-Vinod, commenting on my weight-loss program

Quote of the Day
"I don't want to marry a girl for love-- I want to marry a girl that'll obey."
-Amit

and.. as an addendum, Amit wants me to put this as his Quote of the Day

"I love kittens!"

Holy crap! I checked my weight today (my first time since getting to India), and I've lost 15 lbs ! Watch out ladieeeees... Vinoj is on da PROWL.

A little tidbit in case someone's thinking of visiting India with regards to mosquitos. Alright, so I remember when I used to visit and such, these bastards would bite me and I'd be scratching for almost a week. It was .. highly.. annoying.

But the reason why you itch/scratch so much is because all humans are allergic to mosquito saliva. I've noticed lately that I don't itch nearly as long as I used to. That's right, basically I've been getting 'allergy shots' of mosquito saliva every day that I get bitten. As a result, the reaction isn't nearly as severe, which means that it'll be bothersome for about 20 minutes, and then that's IT. All done. Damn, that's great.

I wonder what'd happen if I start biting people. Would it itch? Some of the lingering questions about our universe....

Alright, so this is a bit adult, but if you're okay with that, you should definitely check out the article. It's hilarious.

Two is definitely not better

Never mess with what nature gave ya. That's what I say. (Unless you're a woman getting implants. In that case, god bless you.)

I started having 'students' here at work, where people come to me for coaching and such. Today, I had four people at once, which was rather crazy. Honestly, I was overwhelmed and I had to come up with a way to split them up so that I can recognize what they need and so on.

Funny thing though- one of Amit's students keeps asking him if he can be my student. Amit was like, "Whaaaa? What the hell's going on?"

All I gotsta say is, Ima P-I-M-P. Unfortunately, the person isn't a young buxom girl who desperately wants a teacher to show her the way.

Ah well.

Quote of the Day
"I'm unique, just like you."
Phil, one of Prachi's friends

Quote of the Day
"Ughhh... remind me to eat more fiber."
-Amit, after returning from the restroom

Yeah I know I blogged a bit ago, but I thought of something else to add.. So there I am, banging my head away to my iPod, while the taxi blares annoying as hell Hindi music. I mean it's not just because I don't understand the lyrics, no, it's something fundamentally different. I hate it because it reminds me of gay Hindi movies. That's it. Nothing more.

But then I started thinking.. I consider myself to be relatively open-minded when it comes to music. I'll listen to just about anything.. or so I thought. In actuality, I'll listen to most anything on my own iPod is what it really boils down to. Country? Not gonna listen to it. Hindi? Will probably listen and decide before it starts that I'm going to hate it. Classic Rock? Not gonna happen. So what have I become, really? I read this thing today about 'iPod people'. How we're basically just micro-focusing ourselves so much that there's no more variety left in the world. I like rap. But not all rap. Mostly Eminem rap. And not his old stuff. Just everything after the Marshall Mathers LP. And not all of it, but...and so on.

Am I, after all this, a product of my society's technological advances?

Or am I just closed-minded?

I pray it's the former.

You know, I was just about to put another quote by Amit when I realized that the guy sounds like a total douche. I mean, all that I've had him quoted on are on women, and usually in a "hehehe.. we're guys so we can say this.." kinda way.

And yet, is that really so bad? I mean think of it this way: If two women were talking to each other and talking about some issues about how one of their husbands is a bad lay or even worse, doesn't even WANT to do those things, would we consider it abnormal? Not at all. It would merely sound like something that 'women can talk about'. Either to themselves or to their gay friend or to their metrosexual male friend. Whatever. The point is, why are men chastised for having 'guy' conversations? Why does it consistently put us on the level of being Neanderthalic when we're only doing exactly what women are doing?

The sexism is unfair, I say. And it must stop.

With that, I'd like to submit the following Quote of the Day..

That girl better watch out, or I'm gonna havta bone her."
-Amit

Quote of the Day
"Have you ever hooked up with a FOB?.... Like an ANIMAL, man. Like an animal.."
-Amit

That's it. I'm never watching a movie in a theater in India again. Nope. Not gonna happen. I'll just see if I can get some pirated copy somewhere if I REALLLLY want to see a new movie, or I'll just stick to some classics. The problem of course is that even the 'classics' are sometimes prints of some jackass with a videocamera in a theatre. Movie piracy (and horrible quality piracy) is VERY popular in Asia.

Anyway, to the reason why I will never go... first off, the movie is supposed to start at 9:45 pm. Surprisingly, the theater actually had it start on time, with the previews and stuff being done before the movie started. Good good. Nice. But since there's assigned seating here, people show up after 9:45. You know, INDIAN time. I mean, there were people strolling in 20 minutes into the movie! And I'm not talking about one or two. I'm talking about groups of people!

Next: No one really pays attention to that whole rule about keeping silent during the movie. Nope. You can talk in a regular conversational voice to ANYONE during the movie, with no probs. Oh yeah. And cell phones? No need to put them on silent! Keep 'em ringing during the movie, and talk even when others are trying to watch.

All this led to a horrific movie-going experience. It was kinda cute/interesting when people started cheering when Keanu Reaves first enters the scene, but the negative aspects definitely outweighed any positives. Oh yeah. And regardless of the raised levels of seats behind each other, it's still done horribly and you have some guy's head blocking your view the entire time.

Have I vented long enough? I think so. Alright, I'm out.

Damn, how cool must THAT be...

I was over at one of the other buildings here at work, and there was a problem with the computer. It was a networking issue, and basically just needed someone to look at it. And a guy came up and fixed it.

But consider it-- this guy is the TECH GUY at MICROSOFT. I mean, there are people out there who are tech guys at their own companies and think they're badasses for it. You know, they go around bossing others who aren't as tech-savvy and think, "What idiots. I'm SOOO much cooler." Even IF this guy has the same amount of skill as others out there, they still don't get the title "TECH GUY AT MICROSOFT."

On other REAL important news.. This area isn't nearly as prud-ish as I thought. Check it: Whenever you ask about someone in the US and find out that she's married, you go, "Dammit." The person gives you the response in a 'aww i'm sorry' kinda way, etc. Around HERE, it's a way different response. It's "She's married...." and then there's a little upturned tone to the voice at the end. What does it say? It basically communicates, "She's married..but... if you can work some magic.." NOT KIDDING. I don't think this is true of all of India, btw. I think it's what's happening a LOT in metropolitan Indian cities though. Yeah. Whew.

Peace

Ohhhh yeahhh...



=)

I am SUCH a badass. Or an idiot. Or brash. Or frikkin COOL. You can make up your mind on your own. Here's the breakdown:

So Jojin and Vinod and I go to a hotel to have a lunch buffet that they're offering. It's a relatively good spread, but it's slightly overpriced. Just after Vinod sits down, Jojin whispers something. "Those assholes are still looking." Completely lost, Vinod and I ask him about what's going on. There was another table of people, perhaps a group of about 20 people, including men and women. "They're staring over here, pointing, and laughing." I was mostly confused as to what on earth was so funny. "They're making fun of your hair," Jojin said quietly, and went back to his food, still steaming.

Now it's safe to say that I'm not exactly the most hot-headed of people. However, it may be the influence of Fight Club, it may not be, but I had this pang of anger in me. I mean, people make fun of me all the time (and I get them back for it), but this seemed totally unnecessary for them to do. "If they do it again, lemme know so that I can kick ass," I gleefully replied. "Nah, don't do anything stupid," Vinod chimed.

We went along, and I finished my meal. For some reason however, it kept nagging at me, and the tiny flame that was lit earlier in the meal had now become a brush fire. I pointed two fingers at Jojin, and said, "Pick one." He picked the left, my index finger. What he didn't know was that I had designated one the finger that would be picked for me to go and confront them. The other was for me to leave the issue alone.

He picked for me to go and confront them.

And I did.

I calmly went over to the table, and spoke with the guy at the head of the table. "You know, it's interesting," I calmly said, "when I was young, my mother told me never to point at people and stare. Not only did you all do that, you also thought it was hilarious enough to start laughing. As a result, I'd like an apology. Now."

The entire table had hushed by this point, and even the room was on edge, slightly brimming with tension.

One of the men replied, "Actually, we never did anything."

Denial. A plan of escape I hadn't expected, but one that fed my need for an apology further.

I spoke evenly. "Interesting, when an entire table looks a certain direction and points and laughs, it's usually a good sign that you DID do something."

"No we were all just pointing at each other."

"Oh of course, you expect me to believe that, right? Listen, all I'm saying is that I want an apology. Now. And I have to say that it's in your best interest to do so."

I was beside myself. Did I just make a threat? It wasn't even VEILED! What if 4 or 5 of the guys wanted to take me outside and teach me a lesson? Was I ready for it? My nerves became steel. Yes, I thought. I'm ready.

"Well sir, if that's what you got from us, I'm sorry."

"Good. An apology. A 'sorry'. That's all I needed." I walked back to my table. My heart was POUNDING, but I had kept an even demeanor the entire time. I looked cool. Calm. Collected. And most of all, THREATENING. I'm not saying that I want to become a bully or something, but it felt good exploring that side of me, somehow. I get taken very lightly most of the time, because I'm jovial, etc. But this time, I didn't feel like lying down and taking it. So I made a stand.

And it worked beautifully.

Whew.

Enough adventure for now.

Peace.

Holy CRAP!!

I work for Microsoft now!!

I don't know what to say.. Apparently the interview went better than I thought, I guess.

Ermm.. blahh.. urrm.. gaaaa.. this is me blubbering. Email me at vz_1@hotmail.com for more details.

PEACE,
v

"So there I was, balls-deep....."

I get bored sometimes, so I say that phrase all the time whenever there's a lull in the conversation. Of course there's more to it, but it's a bit more x-rated. Plus, you can add more for yourself.

You know, it's interesting-- the sign makers here can't spell for crap, but the general intelligent populace can. It's the exact opposite of the US. Pretty intelligent people (JON LUNARDI!) can't spell for crap, but the sign-makers can. Weird.

Quote of the Day
So I was at a cabaret last night, and there's a midget dancing for us.....
-Amit

I've decided that my goal in losing weight is simply this: I want to ride in an auto and it not hurt when my man-titties start bobbin' up and down.

So far, I've got a 50% reduction since I got here. Let's keep up the pace, buddy. Keep up the pace.

So much for making an American breakfast. Out the window. Had to go to work and so did Vinod, etc. So yeah, that didn't happen.

You know, it's interesting. According to actual mileage from here to work (one-way), it's 4.5 miles. How long does it TAKE to go that distance every morning? 25 minutes. Not. Kidding. Plus, it costs about Rs. 60 each way. Of course in dollars, it's paltry, it's like $1.40 or something. But lemme put this in perspective. I can get a relatively nice cheap lunch for about Rs. 20. Let's go ahead and compare that to like, a Big Mac Value meal at McDonald's, which is $5. So three of these meals at Rs. 20 is what I can eat to equal one auto ride to work. To convert it into American sensibility again, you're talking about $30 a day to go to work for about 9 miles of traveling.

Yeah. That's just preposterous. And I have to spend that every weekday, when I could be having a nice 6 meals a day if I chose to. However, I've become somewhat of a miser since I've gotten here. I'll go get idli (it's like these baked sourdough bread things) and sambar (tomato/lentil soup) at a local eatery for Rs. 5. Then I'll go to lunch and have thali (roti or rice with a number of different curries) and get that for Rs. 40. Last, I'll go to the same restaurant where I had breakfast and have tomato soup for Rs. 20. That comes up to Rs. 65 a day-- about $1.40 for an entire day's meals. Now lest you think that it's JUST because I'm a cheapskate, it's actually also because I try to eat low-calorie things now, and most of that ends up being vegetarian. So having all these items, and then running every day is cutting down on my weight. So yeah.

Longest blog yet? Perhaps. But I'm always thinking of new stuff so who knows, this might be eclipsed by something in the future...

Peace..

More women on top needed, according to the Times of India. Do these people actually consider their headlines before sending them out? And the Times of India is reputable, too. Sort of like the New York Times or something. Sheesh.

More women on top needed

Btw, I prefer women on the bottom.. Mommy, if you're reading this, I'm kidding. I saw it in a movie once.

That Vinni rented.

Go blame her.

Just when I thought I was in the clear... I'm not. Or I wasn't. Or whatever the grammatically correct way to say that is.

I've decided that I'm never eating sandwiches in Bangalore again. In fact, maybe never in this country. Reasons...

1995- Mutton Burger... food poisoning
1999- Paneer Burger from KFC... food poisoning
2004- Chopped BBQ Chicken Sandwich... SEVERE food poisoning
2005- Chicken and Cheese Sandwich - food poisoning

I have a 100% rate of getting sick in this town after eating a sandwich. The only difference this time is that it happened about 3 weeks in instead of within the first 48 hours.

So today I came back to work and there's a huge project that needed to be given to the Director of the program. GULP. Fortunately for me, I had already done most of the changes, but my colleague Amit has a SHITLOAD to do. Poor guy. Plus there's talk of us maybe being moved to Chennai (other city in another state), and on top of THAT there's a Microsoft session next week that we have to teach. ACK.

It's just BEGINNING to get hairy my friends...

I still can't get myself to believe it. No no, it's not the fact that I'm actually in India (I can't believe that either), it's that people around here honk their automobiles SOOO MUCH. I mean, it was pretty bad in NY with people honking at any given second, but it's horrendous here. But the thing is, they honk for ENTIRELY different reasons.

We were reading in our culture handbooks about India (yep, I'm learning about India through a book now), and the reason that people honk doesn't mean, "Hey a$$hole, MOVE!" Instead it can mean a variety of things, from, "Hey watch out I'm here," to, "I'm gonna pass you, so make sure not to accidentally swerve over." There're even people who honk to say hi and such. But when you're going to work and there're five hundred vehicles honking all around, it definitely feels different.

Work is going pretty well, right now I'm helping design a course module for an American company. Basically, they have American managers who need to know about India, and Indian managers who need to know with how to deal with Americans. Interesting to see the parallels between the courses. It's that you have to come up with parallels for each. (Indians like to take their time in conversations so that they can get a better picture of the whole. Americans like to be straight and to the point and get business done. == That sort of thing.)

So it's 12:46 AM and I'm typing this up. Why am I up this late even though I have to get up at 6:30 AM? Damn good question. I'm going to say that it's because I've mastered the art of compressing deep sleep into 3 hours somehow. Like Batman. (Okay that was a TOTALLY geeky reference. Please ignore.)

By the way, all those who were EAGERLY awaiting a new pic of the week. WAIT ON SUCKAHS! I'me taking it tomorrow before going to work.. we'll see if I can do some of it at work or not.

I suppose things around here are starting to settle down. I'm getting an idea of how people function at my workplace, who to be around, who to slightly avoid because their egos are through the roof, etc. It's interesting when people try to tell ME how to say words with an American accent. I think it's because I'm new and they think that they can boss me around or some shit. Whatev. Let 'em get on their soapbox for a month or so, if that gives them joy/a sense of fulfillment. I totally expect this to happen at any workplace I join, so it's not like I'm surprised.

Meryl Streep (my fave actress) had a quote that makes a lot of sense:
"Real life isn't like college. It's a lot like high school."

It's true, there are cliques, there are things you don't know but are automatically assumed to have known, there are insecurities to deal with, and of course, lots of pimples. Okay maybe not that as much. Similar quote from American Beauty. Lester Burnham (Kevin Spacey) talks about giving advice to his daughter about difficulties in life, etc.

"I could tell Jane that all these things get better when you're older, but then I'd be lying."

Touche. And with that, I bid adieu.

It seems this job at NEXT just keeps getting more and more interesting.. So I was talking to a guy today who has been with NEXT for a little while. He works on an hourly basis, and he was saying that the best thing to do is to go to independent companies and say that you're an outside consultant. See, NEXT is basically a third party. Corporations pay them to use their trainers; NEXT keeps 2/3 of the profits, the trainers get 1/3. Of course this is nothing that should be too surprising- it's just basic business, really.

However, here's the thing.. I found out that the amount of money that can be made by just going to these places directly (IBM, Dell, Microsoft, etc.) is HELLA good. How much am I talkin? $45/hour. Please note, that's DOLLARS. IF a person works 8 hours a day, 5 days a week for a year like that, do you have any idea how much that comes out to? $87,500. No, you read that right. Never mind the fact that around here, you'd be a millionaire, but how many COLLEGE GRADS can claim that much salary in the US?? Sheesh. Screw America, if this works out, I'm stayin here! (KIDDING.)

PS.. I should have a new Pic of the Week tomorrow or so. I've started getting complaints about it not changing.

Woohoo! The computer at our place is finally working!! This means of course that I'll be having loads of longer blogs for people to read through, because I'm SURE everyone wants more of.. who else.. ME.

Now I'm just waiting for the b*tch in the other booth to get out so that I can use the CD burner on the machine. Grr. (And ok fine, I dont know if she's a b*tch.)

I decided that it'd be good to go for an extra stroll around here in the evening. You know, after my daily run and all. Okay, now before you start thinking that I'm running fervently and regularly, it might behoove you to know that in actuality, I've only started this week. On top of that, I skipped Tuesday and Wednesday. Way to go for regularity. The reason I'm posting twice in one day is because I wanted to add this quote from the Bangalore Times. Here we go...

Quote of the Day
"Hard to understand? Can't be.. the Americans understand it."
-The Bangalore Times, after explaining the rules of American football.

So I'm on break right now at work. Taking my hour's break for lunch, and at the Faculty room, they have internet access. That's especially helpful because I get to sit in an air conditioned room with a good keyboard instead of a steamy room with a crappy computer and sticky keyboard. Very helpful. Now onto news at work...

Apparently NEXT's new client is Microsoft, and they ASKED FOR ME! WHOA! They love native-speakers of American English, and I was talking to the head trainer here and she was telling me that if they like you enough, they end up snatching those trainers away from their original workplaces. What does that mean? That in a while, i may be saying, "Hey how's it goin... I work for Microsoft." Isn't that INSANE?!!
Alright, gotta go.

So I finished most of the training for the accent trainer gig today. Tomorrow we have our presentations (I picked American stereotypes and American culture), then we watch a couple of sessions in action and BAM. We've got our own classes. Yeah, insane. My blog's gonna be mad short today, and I'm off to the house so that I can prepare for tomorrow and do something REALLY important afterwards.... SLEEP.

Ah CRAP. Daman sent out an email to all the DeltaSigs that they should check out my site for updates on me. That I can deal with. But apparently I'm supposed to be funny too. Well sheeeeyet. I gots nuffin.

So anyway. I went to work for the first time today (in India). It's a very relaxed environment, which seems to be the way things are around here in Bangalore. I mean, there's all this hi-tech development and stuff, but people are all laid back. Oh yeah, and dont forget the cows. As 'civilized' as this place is, there are cows roaming the streets. I know that Delhi had some problems with monkeys running around, but apparently in Bangalore it's COWS , people. Not frikkin kidding. What I dont understand is who brings these mamas around to these streets. I mean some dude definitely had to go, "hm. what do i do with Bessie today (or Vishachandratekkila or whatever)? I know! Let's take it downtown where no one will do anythig to it!!"

So many weird experiences.. oh, got some info on the movie. It's actually British (that's to be said with a snooty accent) and I'll have a part and can even get some assistant-director credit in it .Word to tha mothaship. Got yet ANOTHER thing I'm working on this week, and I'll let y'all know what's going as it happens.

Alright, so remember how I said that if a couple of things 'pan out' this week I'd put it/them up on the site? Well one has panned out. So there's good news and bad news.

Bad news: I may be staying in India longer than 3 months. Yeah.. kinda sucks about not seeing/talking to my homeys in the US for that long, but the good news is the reason why...

Good news: I got a job. It's the accent trainer job that I mentioned before I left, and I'm getting paid pretty good money. Computer engineers make Rs. 10,000-12,000 a month, and I'll be making Rs. 21,000 a month. Not too shabby, and that's the starting rate. Of course when you convert it to US Dollars, it's not exactly the best of numbers, but it's enough to make a good living around here and live comfortably. Okay fine, a little MORE than just comfortably. Plus, I'm starting to really dig the place, even though I've made no friends. :( I have family, but that's it. Hopefully this job will help out a bit.

Aight, this place is getting stuffy again, so I'm out. Peas.

Whoa. I didnt know that you could spend money that fast. I mean, I'd heard of it, but for it to ACTUALLY HAPPEN is something totally different. Ladies and gentlemen, I spent Rs. 8,000 in a mere two hours.

Not.

Kidding.

I think this is the part where I have to get on my knees and start asking for repentence from God or something. May as well begin...

Quote of the Day
"Those are the guys that come to sleep over here with Vinod some nights."
-Cinuchacha. Trust me, the real context of the statement doesn't add to any sense of normalcy. So not gonna do it.

Grr. I can't sleep. And I completely blame Vinod for this one. He told me today that his bed had bedbugs in it. They bite, he claimed. And they cause you to itch.

Now I can't sleep.

Anytime I feel something move (it's only been air so far), I think it's one of those things crawling all over me. Onto other news:

The other day I was in an autorickshaw. A standard ride was what I expected. After a bit, the man decides to put on some of his music. 'Great', I thought, 'like we need some dude's input on what to listen to'. And then it began. Rich, bellous bass resounding from this tiny little auto. I mean, this stuff was enough to make both Levi and Daman (two car audio buffs) to shame. His music was even more amazing: high-paced techno. I turned around to see that this guy had installed subwoofers in this thing. Never judge a book by its cover, I suppose.

On another music note, I went back to Kerala (my mother-state, I suppose) this past weekend. Vinod and I were riding with two of his former classmates from college. At first, they had on some Hindi music, which I found terribly mundane. This all changed when in a few seconds, something else came on. New music. That's right in a barely-there Sanyo car (did someone even know that these guys made cars??) going from Ernakulam to Othera, in Kerala, INDIA, I was jammin' out to P.I.M.P by 50 Cent. It changed slightly when we went to listening to In Da Club a little while later. Wow.

I've got some things I'm working on this week, but I'll post them on the site later, if they turn out successful.

Last,

Quote of the Day
"Girls like big asses, right?"
Vinod, when we were talking about what girls like in men.

It's absolutely surreal-- realizing that I'm actually in India. Of course what brings me back to remembering that fact is this damn keyboard that I'm using at the Internet cafe. It's sticking for every other key, so I'm having to press the spacebar harder and harder each time. Dammit.

The flights were fine, I slept or read most of the way. I seem to have carried that habit over to India as well; I did not much today or yesterday other than sleep. Until I can get some of my arrangements ready for travel within the city (Vinod is at work most of the day) and communication (I'm getting a cell phone today), it's hard to do much of anything.

Outside I can hear the loud trucks roar past and the random little autorickshaws and scooters trying to beep through. Maybe I'll stop there for today. Hopefully, I'll have some more tomorrow...

Quote of the Day
"I like men at E.P.-- Earning Potential."
-Niyati

I'm extremely proud of myself. I slept for two and a half hours. Then, I got up, had a bowl of Special K (low-carb, at that) and realized that I'll miss it for three months. However, to keep some of the magic going, I'm taking three boxes of Splenda with me, which I douse liberally on the cereal every morning as an homage to the sweet tooth that I veil so well.

But onwards to the business at hand- I'm leaving for India. And slowly, somewhere, I'm starting to feel excited again, instead of nervous and anxious. It could be because I was talking to my cousin Vinod and he told me that a recruiter in Bangalore wanted to see me "as soon as I landed" to talk about accent training. Maybe something big WILL happen. Who knows.

I'm pretty sure this will be my last post for a while, seeing as how we won't have any net access at the flat. To be forthright, I don't know what else to say here. As a result, I'll merely bid adieu.

Now this is an awfully early time for me to wake up, isn't it? Well, the truth is, I never went to sleep.. at all. Why? Because I was reading Angels and Demons, by Dan Brown. If you don't know, he also wrote The DaVinci Code. I got DaVinci Code for Christmas, and I finished that in one night. I got this yesterday and I finished it in one night. It might be safe to say that I enjoy this author. So now I'm in the situation of wondering whether I should get a few winks of sleep until 9:30 (church) or just stay awake. Hmm..

Alright, two more days until I'm off to India. Actually, not EVEN two more days. More like a day and xx hours. Crazy. I pseudo-finished packing today, and all I've got to do now is just pack some final things (contacts, gel, etc.). When Papa comes today, he's probably going to rearrange everything once again, because he's apparently the King of Packing. He's just good at seeing things and figuring out how to maximize space and such. That's cool. Alright, I'm blabbering. Off I go to Barnes and Noble to buy a couple of novels to read on the flight.

So there are mail order brides, right? You know, you start talking to some chick in Russia or something who is desperate to come to the U.S. for a green card, with the hopes that there's a connection. If there is, you marry her, blah blah blah. Ideally it's a way to help a really desperate woman to come to the US, and really desperate guys (who can't get women here) to make a love-match. Or something. That's until I met this site for mail-order husbands. It's the same thing as the mail-order brides thing, except the women get to choose who they want. You've GOT to check it out.

Alright, so I saw this on albinoblacksheep.com and haven't been able to stop cracking up since. Be careful, it's got a good dose of cursing, but it's probably one of the funniest things I've ever read. Check it out.

So an Amish kid died Wednesday when he was trying to remove an electrical cord that was stuck on his buggy's wheels. Does anyone else find this ironic?

Now I'm not saying I'm bitter. I'm not even saying I'm pessimistic. However, it takes a lot to make me go, "awwww," online. (Now if you put me in a room with a puppy or a baby, I melt into play-noises and going, "come heeere!") However, here's a story that warmed me. A child, when asked what he wanted for Christmas, responded, "Christmas cards. Lots of them."

And he did. 130,000 of them as of now, and still coming strong. What makes this even more special is that he has Holt-Oram syndrome, which causes abnormalities in the hands and brain. You can check out the story on CNN.com.

I was just talking to my friend Astri and I realized, with one week to go before India, that I haven't properly explained what I'm going to be doing there.

*NOTE: THIS IS ALL TENUOUS AND IS SUBJECT TO CHANGE AT ANY POINT*
There are three things that I'm looking at right now, and all of the things I'm going to mention are IF everything works out. Since I've given two full disclaimers, I guess I can begin with what I hope will happen.

The Movie
The number one reason for going to India is to shoot a movie. The director/screenwriter of the film is a family friend, and he has said that he'll include me. Now if that means that I'll be Village Boy #3 or if it's a more substantial role, I don't know. As I have more details, I'll post them. Either way, all I'm hoping for is a few lines. On top of that, the movie is going to be distributed internationally, so there's a good chance that it'll make it to The States.

An Agent
I have gotten some contact information for an agent/ad agency owner in Bangalore, where I'll be staying for a while. If this means that I have some acting work while I'm there, wonderful. I'd love to keep myself busy.

Accent Neutralization
You know how when you call IBM(for instance) with a tech support question, the call center ends up in India? Well these people sometimes need help with neutralizing their thick Indian accents to something that Americans can understand. Plus, they also need some skills in understanding the wide array of American dialects. (When I first got to America and heard the thick Southern accent.. whew!) This is a niche that I hope to fill. I have a few contacts there, but this is DEFINITELY something that I'm hoping for because the details are up in the air. Plus, I love helping people anyway, so this provides an ample opportunity.

And that's what I've got so far. Suffice it to say that I'll be updating the info as often as I can, and being able to say if there are some aspects that are working out, and others that are not. Alright, I'm out for now.

Quote of the Day
"i have ice on my left ass cheek"
-Nisha

INSANE story from Donna. She went to the city rescue mission, where there are a lot of homeless people (obviously). So there she is, trying to help these people out and.. you know what? Just read the email she sent.

" went to the city rescue mission yesterday...downtown...and i got a couple of stories...first of all i loved helping those ppl...as 25 of us walked in one of the homeless guys goes....wow...it looks like Abu-Gharib just let loose...?!?..can u believe that?? and then another guy asked if i should cover my face since its against my religion to reveal it...and i kindly informed him that i was christian...and then another guy asked my sisters...what church we went to ...and we're like 1st Indian Pentecostal Church on 10th and council...and he goes...oh is that the church with all the terror cells????....WHAT THE...these ppl where crazy....and abt a million of them hit on all of us...one guy was like "i need some spiritual healing..and hugs...and...."...and another guy...abt as old as my dad...comes up to me and he was like "sweetie are u married...and i was like no...and he was like whats ur name...and i was like...donna...and then he goes...what's ur address...and i jus smiled...and he's like " u need to quit lookin so good...i'm VERYYY single...AND VERY interested..and definitely NOT married...and then he goes..is ur bf here?..and he answered his own quest and goes..."i hope not"....i was like that's nice and slowly walked away...and then later he saw my sisters and i standin together...and he was like "triplets???...and mann all y'all look good too...i must've done died and gone to heaven..."...eventful day i tell ya..."

WHOA.

Yet another night that I couldn't sleep until 5:30 am. You know, it's interesting-- I went bed yesterday at 11pm and woke up at 1 am. And then... nothin. Totally awake. So I basically stayed up all night talking to Angel, another night/early morning owl. If nothing else, it looks like my body is already adjusted to the Indian time zone. Good good.

Speaking of Angel, we're supposed to go take photos today, but this time it's gonna be a bit different- I'm going to take photos of her. She wants me to only put one of the photos up, which is fine- I'll put it in the 'My Friends' section.

On another note, you know it's a sad day when you start designing covers for your iPod. I'm such a loser.

Peas.

Guess what I got today? I'll tell ya. An iPod- the Special U2 Edition. To be totally honest, I'm not a huge U2 fan. I mean I respect them and all, but I don't go out and buy every one of their albums, like Kim does. Now how I GOT the damn thing is a whole other ordeal (apparently a regular 20GB iPod is no longer in service or something.. and they're sold out everywhere.. blah blah). As a result, I got one of their remaining U2 iPods for $25. Add a carrying case, and you're good to go. I definitely know that it'll come in handy on the lonnnnnng plane ride to India. Plus, I'm taking my software with me by using it as an external hard drive. Not too shabby.

Now that I've spent MORE than enough time on the iPod, I'll sign off.

On another note, Erica isn't coming to Norman. Should I really be all that surprised? I'll tell ya-- I'm not. (In case you can't tell, I'm pissed.)

But boy howdy.. that iPod suuuuure puts ya in a good mood. :D

Quote of the Day
"That's soo PREJUDISM."
-Arshia

Hmm.. no email back from the Klan. Are they onto me and my alter ego "Matt Dickerson"? I doubt it. With a collective IQ of 12, I'm sure that's not the reason. It might be recruiting season.

I rule SO much. I mean, I'm probably one of the funniest people in history. Alright, so I went to the Ku Klux Klan's website because of an article I read in the New York Times about a Klansman who is finally being tried for the murder of 3 people in the 1960s. Anyway, I go to the website and realize that the site is so well designed that it looks like it was done up by a 2 year old drunk monkey. I laugh heartily at the ill-conceived and even more illogical propoganda that they have on there, and at the bottom I see, "Contact Us."

It was too much for me.

I created an account on Hotmail and sent them an email with some stupid crap about "Hi my name is Matt Dickerson and I want to join your fine organization," and so on.

Now you might be wondering why anyone would want to associate in ANY way with such a heinous organization. The reason is this- as heinous as they are, they're also a bunch of imbeciles. I just want to see their reaction to a 'new recruit' and if they'll start preaching to me in their response. Then, at some point (preferably when I'm out of the country), I'll say, "Hey, did I mention I'm not white?"

It shall be glorious.