"Betsy, Betsy, Betsy.. you know I love you, and we make a great couple... Yes, Frank IS a jacka$$."

$5o bucks right there. Ah the life of a struggling actor. No money for a long time, and then you say one line in a movie and you get $50 for about 10 minutes worth of work. I like it, I think. It makes me feel like I'm living on the edge.

This however, is going to be much different once I get to L.A. So here it is-- the moment of truth that I've been stressing out over for a while now-- money in L.A. I'm petrified that I'll move out there and there won't be any money for me anywhere. Right now I'm under the shield of my parents because they live so close to me. I can go home and eat lunch if I feel like it, etc. But out there on my own? Skipped meals should become regular. Scrounging for rent money should become even more regular. And I'm very very afraid of all of this.

Suppose it as a measure of growing up perhaps? Perhaps the ultimate maturity will be not relying on anyone anymore but myself? I dont know. As of now, I'm just petrified and glad to know that I have classes this semester. It's yet another few months in this cocoon called OU and another few months in pushing away my worries. Of course in the meantime, school will drive me insane, I will probably have a shitload more neuroses, and I'll get to.. some very bad places. We'll see. We'll see.